Husband and Wife

UENO DONO GOHENJI

A wife treasures her husband while he sacrifices his life for her.

(Background : January 3, 1279, 56 years old, at Minobu, Showa Teihon, p.1621)

SENNICHI AMA GOZEN GOHENJI

A husband is like a pillar of a house and his wife its beam. When the pillar falls, the beam collapses. Man is like legs and woman is like body. A bird’s body being the wife and its wings her husband, when the wings fail, the bird cannot fly. Likewise, you must feel that you have lost your own soul after the death of your husband.

(Background : July 2, 1280, 58 years old, at Minobu, Showa Teihon, p.1762)

Explanatory note

Nichiren Daishonin often sent letters to his followers who lost their loved ones. He taught them how to overcome their sadness through faith. These letters were always warm-hearted.

When Sennichi Ama lost her husband, Abutsubo, Nichiren sent her a long letter. The quotation above is a part of the letter which explains the important close relationship between husband and wife.

What is the ideal relationship between husband and wife? What is a good family? These questions have been answered in many ways throughout our history. However, all thinkers agree that the most essential factor is to strengthen the union of husband and wife as well as to fortify their families with respect and trust for each other.

Even though our family system and life style have been changed so much, the fundamental and affectionate relationship within a small circle of intimate associates like a family has not changed. Love and trust between a husband and his wife are the basis for all human relations, because the essence of the family is not only physical closeness but consciousness of joint interaction.

Our lives have become very comfortable through the development of science and technology, and at the same time, we live in an age when we are easily influenced by desire for instant gratification, which could often destroy a wonderful relationship in a family. Therefore, we must have strong will and determination not to fall to temptations around us. But if we do not have thoughts of mutual understanding and a spirit of compassion within our family life, it is difficult to have such a strong will and determination.

By affirming love and affection for each other, we cultivate the spirit of a strong will and determination from within.

Nichiren taught us that a harmonious family with the spirit of strong will and determination will be present when we live truthfully everyday by chanting “Namu Myoho Renge Kyo” with faith in the eternal Buddha.

Rev. Matsuda

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